Plumbing in Heaven?

A Very Serious Question

 

By
Anthony Labson

 

They say when you go you’re allowed one question

when you go to the gates of Saint Peter.

Whether or not that’s true

I’ll try finding a way to let you know when I go.

 

But when I do I already know what I will ask.

It’s a very simple question but very important.

I’ve seen many films that show a version of Heaven

and they’re all different but with one common denominator.

 

Because of that I know what question I will ask.

It’s not going to be,

Why were I there and what was the meaning?

It’s over with so what’s the point of asking anyway.

 

My question will be something that will affect me

for all of eternity and will be guarantee my happiness.

When I go up to Saint Peter and I’m allowed a question

I will ask.

 

Where are all the toilets?

 

Seriously, over 20 films and

20 versions of Heaven and I’ve never

seen anyone having to go to the bathroom.

Maybe that explains the fact that when we go

we have one more bowel movement.

 

Do our digestive systems not work in Heaven?

People can eat the best food and drink the finest wines

but does nobody really have to go number 1 or 2?

 

Do we use a cloud?

Is there a cloud for everyone or are they public?

Come to think of it, is there toilet paper available?

Or do we use a piece of the cumulous?

 

I apologize if this seems awkward or uncomfortable

but I would just like to know that for my own sake

because only in Hell

you’re spending eternity without relief.