Venti

Walking in 30 degree weather,

wearing shorts and sandals

in the middle of the night,

and for what?

Venti.

 His height reaches my ankle

and he’s a breed between a regular dog

and a farm animal.

But, unfortunately, is as fast as lightning.

When a door is left open,

it’s a mistake waiting to happen and

that’s what leads me here.

The odds of me finding this dog

in these conditions are as good as

a man with no tongue winning

a spelling bee.

So why am I doing this?

For one main reason.

I’ve been punched in the face,

kicked in the stomach,

survived a car crash,

broken my leg,

bruised ribs,

overcome illnesses.

No problem.

But the one thing that always hurts my heart

more than the unfaithful,

the materialistic,

and the dependent,

is the sight of seeing my sister’s face in a pillow,

soaking the sheets in her tears

and filling the room with her sorrow

because I failed her.

I’d rather freeze to death.

Depression

Depression is like being at the beach

And you’re standing in front of the waves.

It will hit you repeatedly
and you can try to resist
but once the waves get too high
you’ll fall under the pressure.

Once that happens
you’re under.

Your eyes begin to burn
because they can’t stand
to look at what they don’t
want to see and even if you try,
everything is out of focus anyway.

People can try to help
but they don’t understand that
it’s not just problems with sight.
Their words can’t penetrate the water
that fills your ears.

This leaves you deaf to their cries
and the loneliness sinks in.

You believe there’s no hope
that there is nothing to live for
so what’s the point of having air
in your lungs?

It’s better just to invite the water
and let it pull you down further
by then it’s too late.
Hands try to reach you
but your too heavy to pull up.

The numb sensations start
and you move by involuntary reflex.
Your end comes and the wave
takes you out into the ocean.

People think it’s a sign of selfishness
and they don’t deserve the attention.

You are in the right state of mind.
so how can you possibly understand
what you may have never experienced.
In the mind of someone depressed
you are the selfish one.

You say you want them around
because seeing you makes them happy.
But their life is miserable
so to them you’re saying,
“You want them to stay alive
so they can remain miserable?”

It’s a powerful and destructive
Disease.
If you disagree with me then fine
but I speak from experience.

I’ve been depressed,
I’ve been angry at the world,
and I still fight with it
even to this day.

Yes, others have it worse.
Some people drink
while others smoke
and some do even worse.

Depression is a powerful wave
that has taken many lives.
To those still fighting,
you’re not alone.