A Daughter's Pain

I like to thank my fellow poets

for presenting me with this plaque.

I’m glad to know that I’m not alone

with this pain that only daughters know.

The pain of having a father

that never loved you, nor

cared to ever acknowledge your

existence.

He didn’t die in an accident,

he didn’t have an excuse,

and didn’t bother to invent one.

He screwed my mom, then me.

Not literally, that was his only gift.

I’m sorry for those daughters

that have those fathers.

But he robbed me of those moments.

I never had a father/daughter dance.

Nobody was there to keep me safe.

I never got to hear his voice comfort me.

He was never there to put me on his shoulders.

Nobody was there to scare my boyfriends.

My best friend walked me down the aisle.

He doesn’t know he has a grandchild.

Where is he?

What does he do?

Why couldn’t he love me?

When did he lose his soul?

Who was he before his heart died?

I ask these questions and wonder

what kind of pain was he in

that made him abandon his

daughter.

A daughter that accepted her pain

and gave birth to a daughter

of her own.

There’s only one difference.

My daughter will grow

up having a father.

A Moment Every Parent Treasures

The Nap

Some cherish the laugh,

some cherish the word,

and others cherish the step.

Not me. 

I remember the bonding,

I remember the warmth, 

and I remember the trust

as she slept on my chest.

A laugh can always be heard,

words can be forgotten,

but the time she could fit 

in my arms as she slept.

That is priceless,

that is unique,

and that is the moment

that I can't get back. 

The Sandstorm

The sandstorm comes!

Bringing blinding fury

to the foolish mass

who place freedom under the grass.


Security is more important than soul

and they willingly give up control.

No care for accountability

even in the death of liberty.


The sand flies

into everyone’s eyes

who can’t breathe or cry.

All they can do is choke.


The lungs become heavy,

The eyes are sealed shut.

Now all fall,

short and tall.


Nobody is spared

because everyone forgot to care.

Venti

Walking in 30 degree weather,

wearing shorts and sandals

in the middle of the night,

and for what?

Venti.

 His height reaches my ankle

and he’s a breed between a regular dog

and a farm animal.

But, unfortunately, is as fast as lightning.

When a door is left open,

it’s a mistake waiting to happen and

that’s what leads me here.

The odds of me finding this dog

in these conditions are as good as

a man with no tongue winning

a spelling bee.

So why am I doing this?

For one main reason.

I’ve been punched in the face,

kicked in the stomach,

survived a car crash,

broken my leg,

bruised ribs,

overcome illnesses.

No problem.

But the one thing that always hurts my heart

more than the unfaithful,

the materialistic,

and the dependent,

is the sight of seeing my sister’s face in a pillow,

soaking the sheets in her tears

and filling the room with her sorrow

because I failed her.

I’d rather freeze to death.

Depression

Depression is like being at the beach

And you’re standing in front of the waves.

It will hit you repeatedly
and you can try to resist
but once the waves get too high
you’ll fall under the pressure.

Once that happens
you’re under.

Your eyes begin to burn
because they can’t stand
to look at what they don’t
want to see and even if you try,
everything is out of focus anyway.

People can try to help
but they don’t understand that
it’s not just problems with sight.
Their words can’t penetrate the water
that fills your ears.

This leaves you deaf to their cries
and the loneliness sinks in.

You believe there’s no hope
that there is nothing to live for
so what’s the point of having air
in your lungs?

It’s better just to invite the water
and let it pull you down further
by then it’s too late.
Hands try to reach you
but your too heavy to pull up.

The numb sensations start
and you move by involuntary reflex.
Your end comes and the wave
takes you out into the ocean.

People think it’s a sign of selfishness
and they don’t deserve the attention.

You are in the right state of mind.
so how can you possibly understand
what you may have never experienced.
In the mind of someone depressed
you are the selfish one.

You say you want them around
because seeing you makes them happy.
But their life is miserable
so to them you’re saying,
“You want them to stay alive
so they can remain miserable?”

It’s a powerful and destructive
Disease.
If you disagree with me then fine
but I speak from experience.

I’ve been depressed,
I’ve been angry at the world,
and I still fight with it
even to this day.

Yes, others have it worse.
Some people drink
while others smoke
and some do even worse.

Depression is a powerful wave
that has taken many lives.
To those still fighting,
you’re not alone.

The Man Who Waited

He doesn’t look for

the one who reminds him

of his mother.

His name isn’t Oedipus.

He doesn’t look for

the one who reminds him

of himself.

Why would he try?

He doesn’t look for

the wrong one just for

the sake of sex and company.

That’s like drinking salt water.

You call it being picky

but he refuses to settle for less.

We all only have one life

to get things right.

There shouldn’t be a need

for a reset.

Haiku

Ego isn’t sin.

Ambition isn’t madness.

Don't settle for less.

If you have time left,

then put the controllers down.

Life is the real game.

  

To say I love you

is so difficult today.

Our lips need to part.

The fire comes fast

With bad lustful intentions.

Watch your heart closely.

There is no future.

Only the present to live.

Stop being concerned.

For once, cut the bull.

All I’ve ever been is true.

I’m nobody’s fool.

If you want a wife,

then stop going to that site.

Hookers can’t be brides.

What you want is cruel.

You want your world on my back.

You’ve stolen my life.

Honesty is dead.

Everyone rests in facades.

A country of fools.

Chairs are for sitting.

So why do I see your feet?

That explains the ants.